Here are some of my honest, albeit randomly ordered, thoughts and opinions about parenting, some personally experienced and some observations. Some simple, some complex!
Over the coming years, am sure, I will learn new things and be exposed to different situations and will have to rack my brain as to how to deal with those, but that is a worry for another time! :)
Parenting is an extremely personal and unique journey. It cannot be duplicated, cannot be modelled on other's journey, and it should be done on your own (with your spouse, if you have one).
Difference of opinion with your spouse is extremely common. Having a stand is good, but negotiating and coming to a common ground is beneficial to the child, in the long run. Constant difference of opinion will tire not only you, but your child as well!
Some mistakes in judgement happen. This, even when people willingly correct it, sometimes, even before the mistake becomes visible. But if you don't go through it, how will you be sure? It might even turn out to be right.
You never know, unless you try.
Talk to your child, a lot! Keep the communication open. I like to give my child the benefit of doubt. I like hearing his views, thoughts and provide my views and theories to him. I assure him that it's ok to feel or behave a certain way, even if everyone else is against it. It just reinforces that it is ok to be different, to have an opinion and be vocal about it!
Love your child. Respect your child. Don't humiliate or chid him in public, unless, you are very sure he was wrong, if so, then do educate him gently. But do not be tolerant of consistent bad behavior though.
Actively use 'Please', 'thank you', 'sorry' and encourage the child to do so too.
Try to avoid the social/school pressure of the child excelling academically, if you can. Constantly encourage your child to do his best, and then forget about the results. This is true for all endeavors, not academic alone.
Let your child watch cartoons/songs/nature,animal and cosmos videos etc, under your guidance, for maybe half an hr a day. It won't harm them too much, but will help them expand their knowledge as well.
Invest in a hobby or class (music/karate etc), but not too many, the child should be able to get some playing time. Make exercise (physical - playing/cycling etc and/or mental - board games, painting etc) a daily habit. But its also ok to take a break and relax on Sundays.
Be creative and explore fun ways of spending time together with the child.
Love and Respect your spouse, be vocal about it, your child will be immensely benefitted by it.
Never tag your happiness to your child/('s). Rather, never make your child as your only source of happiness. The burden that they will subconsciously carry through their life, might/will affect them negatively.
Be happy in your own space, don't tie it with your child's. Eat chocolates when your child can't. Go out and explore when your child won't. It is as important as, say, giving away your last piece of cake to your child without a moment's hesitation or playing hide-n-seek by hiding and seeking at the same place, multiple times, without making it look like a chore, enjoy these moments when you can.
Don't let guilt (internal and external) mar your perspective and stability. Be brave, be your own person. Your child might sulk or not like it now, but gradually and surely, your child will respect that and when time comes, would definitely be his/her own person easily, probably without the internal struggle you have had to endure.
At the end of it all, there will still be imperfections, I-could-have-done-better feelings, but take a deep breath, relax and remind yourself that it's ok, really ok!
Over the coming years, am sure, I will learn new things and be exposed to different situations and will have to rack my brain as to how to deal with those, but that is a worry for another time! :)
Parenting is an extremely personal and unique journey. It cannot be duplicated, cannot be modelled on other's journey, and it should be done on your own (with your spouse, if you have one).
Difference of opinion with your spouse is extremely common. Having a stand is good, but negotiating and coming to a common ground is beneficial to the child, in the long run. Constant difference of opinion will tire not only you, but your child as well!
Some mistakes in judgement happen. This, even when people willingly correct it, sometimes, even before the mistake becomes visible. But if you don't go through it, how will you be sure? It might even turn out to be right.
You never know, unless you try.
Talk to your child, a lot! Keep the communication open. I like to give my child the benefit of doubt. I like hearing his views, thoughts and provide my views and theories to him. I assure him that it's ok to feel or behave a certain way, even if everyone else is against it. It just reinforces that it is ok to be different, to have an opinion and be vocal about it!
Love your child. Respect your child. Don't humiliate or chid him in public, unless, you are very sure he was wrong, if so, then do educate him gently. But do not be tolerant of consistent bad behavior though.
Actively use 'Please', 'thank you', 'sorry' and encourage the child to do so too.
Try to avoid the social/school pressure of the child excelling academically, if you can. Constantly encourage your child to do his best, and then forget about the results. This is true for all endeavors, not academic alone.
Let your child watch cartoons/songs/nature,animal and cosmos videos etc, under your guidance, for maybe half an hr a day. It won't harm them too much, but will help them expand their knowledge as well.
Invest in a hobby or class (music/karate etc), but not too many, the child should be able to get some playing time. Make exercise (physical - playing/cycling etc and/or mental - board games, painting etc) a daily habit. But its also ok to take a break and relax on Sundays.
Be creative and explore fun ways of spending time together with the child.
Love and Respect your spouse, be vocal about it, your child will be immensely benefitted by it.
Be happy in your own space, don't tie it with your child's. Eat chocolates when your child can't. Go out and explore when your child won't. It is as important as, say, giving away your last piece of cake to your child without a moment's hesitation or playing hide-n-seek by hiding and seeking at the same place, multiple times, without making it look like a chore, enjoy these moments when you can.
Don't let guilt (internal and external) mar your perspective and stability. Be brave, be your own person. Your child might sulk or not like it now, but gradually and surely, your child will respect that and when time comes, would definitely be his/her own person easily, probably without the internal struggle you have had to endure.
At the end of it all, there will still be imperfections, I-could-have-done-better feelings, but take a deep breath, relax and remind yourself that it's ok, really ok!
