Vivid colors!

Sid (washing his hands in the bathroom, calls and asks me): Mamma, what is champagne?
Me (surprised): It's an alcoholic drink, white in color, something like soda.
Sid: Then is there pink champagne?
Me (SURPRISED and a tad confused): Maybe there is, like flavored drinks.
Sid (obviously not done with the questioning and STILL washing his hands): Is it kept in ice?
Me (Running to the bathroom now and asking him pointedly!!): Where did you see all this?
Sid (not at all perturbed by my tone, casually SINGS): Pink champagne on ice. It is there in 'Hotel California' lyrics!!
Me (makes a mental note to talk to Josh): Ok, usually champagne or wine is kept in a bucket of ice to keep it cold. Now come out!

With a kid, surprises are at every corner! This was all thanks to his keyboard classes!

That time of the year again

It is that time of the year again! New 'fresh' books, buying binding sheets and labels, dusting bags and boxes to see if it is reusable and so on..

You guessed it right. School starts soon and I can't tell who's more excited - my son or I?!

Every year, I take up the responsibility of binding and labelling the school books. Measuring and cutting the sheets, carefully covering the books, cello-taping the flaps - so therapeutic! It is also nostalgic. I look into the pensieve scattered with my childhood memories, observing my parents bind my books, to assisting them and then covering the books on my own. The visit to the friendly neighborhood stationery store, gaping at the laminated binding sheets (damn, they were costly!!), settling on the normal brown paper, having a lot of fun choosing what labels to pick - the cartoon ones, the plain ones, the car ones, so many choices to make!

I always loved this chore and needless to say, I was so excited to repeat the cycle with my child!
This year, I let him observe for a while, and also got him to choose and peel the labels out (slyly added Dora stickers too - to make sure he doesn't get into the boys/girls arguments in school, he is still unsure about it though, let's see how that pans out).

Starting of the school year also means an end to the vacation - not only his but mine as well. Will have to sharpen my skills, make plans and be ready to make the journey as easy and fun as possible.
Here's to a great new year - full of exciting possibilities, new learnings, happiness and disappointments, and everything in between! 

Zarah phir se kehna!

So does anyone remember which song the title of this post is taken from?

If you said yes, then congratulations! You truly are a 90s bollywood fan! Did you also mug up lyrics by the dozen, not just the mukda, but the antara(s) even!?

Mugging up the lyrics, was completely necessary, to win the imaginary Close-up Antakshari you would play in your mind, or for the saner ones, to identify the music or/and know the lyrics before any of the Deewanas, Parwanas or Mastanas pressed the buzzer! Lyrics were very important you see, you could lose if you even got 1 word wrong! Annu Kapoor was damn strict that way!

Kidding? Not really. I was, and still, am enamoured by the lyrics. I love exploring the meanings, the composition, the use of certain words and the way it is strung together. Sometimes it becomes more dear or meaningful after watching the movie. Context adds a lot of weight.

Back in my teens, even in my 20s, I used to listen to a lot of songs, mostly Hindi ones, sometimes on loop (from cassettes slowing transitioning to the internet or forwards from friends). Learning the lyrics by heart came naturally. Singing not so much! But still I persisted, even almost winning a Corporate Antakshari once! Our team came a close second and one thing was ticked off my bucket list.

Although, I must admit that am a little rusty now. So it came as a pleasant surprise when this happened today.

I was listening to a 90s playlist from Saavn (I really like the way some of the playlists are compiled), and this 1 song started playing. Back then the general consensus of the audience was that the movie should have been named "Rani". Got the movie yet? Yes, it was "Raja", the Sanjay Kapoor-Madhuri Dixit starrer, that had a pathetic plot (if you would call it a plot, that is), but some good songs. Remember 'Akhiyan milaaon'? It was a popular number back then. But when this song - 'Kisi din banoongi mein Raja ki Rani' started playing, suddenly I could remember everything about it - not just the song, but the costumes, places, hell, even Madhuri's hairstyle and earrings! I was able to lip-sync the mukhda, then the 1st antara, and then even the 2nd one! It felt so familiar, as though I had just listened or watched it yesterday. This was some obscure movie, watched at least 20 years ago, maybe listened or watched the song a few more times after that. It is, indeed, remarkable how the brain stores information and that too, with such clarity!

I was really amazed. So much, that I quickly jumped to this blog and started to write this post! Some of you might think 'how is this a big deal anyway?'
Well, you were probably the ones who said 'No' to my first question anyway!

F*** Gender roles!

The other day Sid and I were walking in a park and there was a lot of graffiti on the walls, benches etc. One said "F*$# Gender roles". Sid was curious and asked what that meant. Well, since the first word wasn't written properly, I didn't really go to the details, but told him that it was a way to tell that fixed gender roles are bad.

We then had a good discussion of what Gender roles are, how society is conditioned to believe certain things to be done or liked by only boys or girls and that it cannot be mixed up. How that is so wrong and that people can do what they want irrespective of their gender. He was quite interested and listened to everything I had to say about it.

Imagine my surprise when I heard Sid talking to his father about the same yesterday. It went something like this:

Sid: You know about gender roles right?

Sam (I am sure he must have been pretty surprised!): What?

Sid: Gender roles, you know, like boys can only do this and girls can only do that.

Sam: Yes.

Sid: Today in my school 1 boy said that 'Boys play with cars and girls with barbie dolls'. I said that it is not right and that boys can play with barbie dolls too!

Sam: That's very good.

Sid: It is wrong no? gender roles? Anyone can do anything right.

Sam: Absolutely!!

Places

I have these cushion covers from Chumbak that have 'my happy place' printed on them. The cushions with those covers are on the ledge beneath the window in my room, where I sit and read or watch videos. (So that is my happy place indeed!)

One lazy Saturday morning, when I woke Sid up, he didn't want to get up. He looked at me, pointed to the bed and said 'my happy place'. We laughed about it, and later on he suddenly hugged me and said 'Actually you are my happy place!'

So now I am his happy place and also his favorite color (which he stated in an obviously matter of fact way the other day!)

The pressure of being a mom I tell you!! ;-)

Shifting scenes

(Scene 1: Mom (a.ka. me) coming back from work and being greeted by an over-enthusiastic 6 yr old)
Mom: "How was school?"
Sid: "It was good. You know we had discussion about God today."
Mom (frankly amazed that the teacher actually had a 'discussion' about God): "What did you discuss? Did you tell anything?"
Sid: "No, I had gone to the restroom."
Mom: OK!!

(Scene changes, Sid having dinner and hesitatingly tries tonDekayi palya)
Sid: "Mamma, this is very nice, it is so juicy, I am eating it all."
Mom: "Very nice."
Sid (amused): "You know why I am eating?"
Mom: "Why?"
Sid: "Because Ma'am talked about God today and so I am eating this."
Mom: "Ok, but what was talked about? You were in the restroom right."
Sid: "Ya, but Ma'am talked right, that's why."

(Scene ends with a befuddled, albeit, relieved Mom, asking the kiddo if he wants a second helping of tonDekayi palya.)

Dooriyan

Sometimes, you can't decide which moral or saying is correct and which is not.
Usually, this happens, when the same topic is addressed differently.

For eg, take these sayings about people close to you, but not near you.
Distance makes the heart go fonder.
Out of sight is out of mind.

Say, you are with a person (friend/spouse/family/kids - anyone close to you) for sometime, but then separate. The separation can be temporary (going for a short trip, education, meetings etc) or permanent (changed companies, shifted to a different place etc).

Sometimes, the first holds good. You are so used to that person, that a brief separation puts things into perspective. You miss their presence and their importance in your life.
But sometimes, its the latter. You don't miss them nor do you feel a void without them around you. This does create panic in your mind - do you not love them? Am I a bad person for feeling like this? Not necessarily!
It might just be that you are more practical then you thought you were or that you and that person is happy in the individual space that you have created by being apart.

I think the 2 sayings are too vague and might work for some persons or some point in time but not necessarily otherwise.
What it usually is, as I have observed, is that, distance makes people forget each other, because you are not a part of each other's lives, you do remember them and talk to and about them occasionally, but you get on with life. So does the other.
But when you meet again, its like nothing had ever changed.

Ok then, I think I am done rambling.

Clay and stones

It has been quite a long time since I posted travelogues. Although, there are quite a few to add, thanks to our wonderful vacation in Australia, this post is not about it, but a quick trip planned with the family.

Since the kiddo and his cousins did not have any good outing together, this summer, we decided to go to 'Our Native Village', near Hesaraghatta for a day.

Well, it was terribly hot, but the place had shade, thanks to the trees, and was full of engaging activities to keep us occupied, for the most part of the day. The highlight of the place was all the rustic games - Kite flying, Laggori, Gilli-danda, catapult, tyre-racing, spinning tops. There were added attractions too, in the form of pottery making, garland making, rangoli making, cow-milking (yeah, you heard that right!) and a bullock-cart ride! A few indoor games, like carrom, chess, snake and ladder were also present.

Through the bullock-cart ride, I was trying to recollect the bullock cart ride songs in Hindi/Kannada movies that I had come across! Some of the ones I remembered were 'Oh re taal mile' and 'Janumada jodi' songs.

It was a return to our childhood seeing the games, and the village ambience and the other activities made our parents nostalgic! Needless to say, the kids enjoyed thoroughly, making the most of the time we spent there.
The adults had fun too, although, there were pockets of time, when we did nothing, but just slept/sat on the mats/benches and talked. Well, doing nothing was fun too, I guess, if you could excuse the heat!

Food was very good, and the buttermilk was just what the doctor ordered for a hot summer day!!!
We even got to buy some organic vegetables, that were grown in the resort.

All in all, a good place to spend a day, esp. with kids and if you enjoy playing outdoors.

View greeting us on the way to the resort.

Inside the resort. The fruit ladden mango, sapota, lemon trees were a beautiful sight!

And so were the flowers!

Decorative door

Fun with Sid!

"Mamma, you are so lucky to have me as your son!!!"

This, when I caught him playing with toothpaste and water and chided him for wasting water!
"Why do you say that?", I asked.
"Because I love experimenting. You will be happy right, when I experiment."

Scientist or not, he sure will be a smooth talker! 

An Experiment named Parenting

Here are some of my honest, albeit randomly ordered, thoughts and opinions about parenting, some personally experienced and some observations. Some simple, some complex!
Over the coming years, am sure, I will learn new things and be exposed to different situations and will have to rack my brain as to how to deal with those, but that is a worry for another time! :)

Parenting is an extremely personal and unique journey. It cannot be duplicated, cannot be modelled on other's journey, and it should be done on your own (with your spouse, if you have one).

Difference of opinion with your spouse is extremely common. Having a stand is good, but negotiating and coming to a common ground is beneficial to the child, in the long run. Constant difference of opinion will tire not only you, but your child as well!

Some mistakes in judgement happen. This, even when people willingly correct it, sometimes, even before the mistake becomes visible. But if you don't go through it, how will you be sure? It might even turn out to be right.
You never know, unless you try.

Talk to your child, a lot! Keep the communication open. I like to give my child the benefit of doubt. I like hearing his views, thoughts and provide my views and theories to him. I assure him that it's ok to feel or behave a certain way, even if everyone else is against it. It just reinforces that it is ok to be different, to have an opinion and be vocal about it!

Love your child. Respect your child. Don't humiliate or chid him in public, unless, you are very sure he was wrong, if so, then do educate him gently. But do not be tolerant of consistent bad behavior though.

Actively use 'Please', 'thank you', 'sorry' and encourage the child to do so too.

Try to avoid the social/school pressure of the child excelling academically, if you can. Constantly encourage your child to do his best, and then forget about the results. This is true for all endeavors, not academic alone.

Let your child watch cartoons/songs/nature,animal and cosmos videos etc, under your guidance, for maybe half an hr a day. It won't harm them too much, but will help them expand their knowledge as well.

Invest in a hobby or class (music/karate etc), but not too many, the child should be able to get some playing time. Make exercise (physical - playing/cycling etc and/or mental - board games, painting etc) a daily habit. But its also ok to take a break and relax on Sundays.

Be creative and explore fun ways of spending time together with the child.

Love and Respect your spouse, be vocal about it, your child will be immensely benefitted by it.

Never tag your happiness to your child/('s). Rather, never make your child as your only source of happiness. The burden that they will subconsciously carry through their life, might/will affect them negatively.

Be happy in your own space, don't tie it with your child's. Eat chocolates when your child can't. Go out and explore when your child won't. It is as important as, say, giving away your last piece of cake to your child without a moment's hesitation or playing hide-n-seek by hiding and seeking at the same place, multiple times, without making it look like a chore, enjoy these moments when you can.

Don't let guilt (internal and external) mar your perspective and stability. Be brave, be your own person. Your child might sulk or not like it now, but gradually and surely, your child will respect that and when time comes, would definitely be his/her own person easily, probably without the internal struggle you have had to endure.

At the end of it all, there will still be imperfections, I-could-have-done-better feelings, but take a deep breath, relax and remind yourself that it's ok, really ok!

The fallen gate

Dusk was setting in. The gate of a nearby park had fallen and everyone had to enter the park trampling on the fallen gate. A guy, an elderly couple and I were the only people walking in the park. 

I noticed that 4 workers had started to fix the gate. They lifted it up, tried to hold it steady and were figuring out how to put it in place. 

After a few more rounds, I wanted to go home. I stopped near the workers, asked them (in Kannada, translated here): "Will this take more time?" No response. The workers refused to acknowledge my presence.

The elderly couple, who were right behind me, stopped, and the lady asked the workers "Can we go from here?" Again, a stoic silence. A pause, and then the elderly man, calls out authoritatively - "Aye! Can we go from here?" Pat came the reply ' No Sir!'.  

I continued walking and exited the park out of the other gate. 

In Dino..

After a terrible 2016, a new year has started. There might be many things that will go wrong and many that might just be perfect, but its another chance to change for the good! As usual, there are some goals and resolutions, but who knows how much can be accomplished. Give it your best though, will ya?

Some thoughts and happenings, that individually were too small for a post and too long for a tweet, had been housed in the back of my mind for some time, and now, I have listed it out here, as a collective, so that it doesn't slip away from the already cluttered, confused mind.

• Had high hopes on Prof.Bharadwaj's tryst with the present, but was throughly disappointed. I am speaking, of course, of 'Immortal' by Krishna Udayashankar. After the brilliant, excellent, amazing (and other such superlative adjectives) 'The Aryavarta Chronicles', I expected too much perhaps. It ends up like 'Indiana Jones', which in the Professor's word, was actually not supposed to be! I was reminded of 'The Emperor's Riddles', which I did not like either. Although, both gave a lot of materials, history, mythology, places to learn about, so can't complain much!?

• One more book that I read and was not impressed by was ' One Indian Girl' by Chethan Bhagat. There are some parts, that do portray a lady's plight, but there is nothing new that the book offers, and looks to be mostly a script ready to get some or the other Bollywood studio's nod!

• I did catch up on short stories though. Sherlock Holmes and Hercule Poirot. Ah! What plots and twists. What words, what sentence formations. Brilliant!  Loved them to bits! I did try to read some aloud for Sid though, and he refused to listen. He is happy reading the books he likes. 

• Speaking of Sid, well, he has progressed to reading on his own now, and the bedtime and weekend afternoon readings has become a breeze! I have, sneakily, made a deal that I will read 1 story and he gets to pick and read whatever he wants. Those are the most peaceful minutes of the day! :-D Moreover, I get to read in that gap as well! 

• I did not watch as many movies as I wanted to in 2016! I flare up when I see the nominations, that have started for the Annual award ceremonies. Not because of the choices, but I must have watched probably only a couple of them, that's all! Oh, the horror!! I don't think I can get myself to watch any of the award ceremonies this year! 

• 2016 has also been a year of great highs and lows. I, who has claimed, never to have caught a fever, as far as I remember, finally caught one! The family too kept falling sick. Hope we fare better this year.

• Arijit Singh sounds constipated now-a-days - 'Channa mere ya' and a couple of more recent ones!  'Ae dil hain mushkil' title track sounds fine though. Compare some of the recent ones to a 'Phir le aaya Dil' or a 'Laal ishq' and you can notice the difference. Or is it deliberate, to sound sad, perhaps? 

• Speaking of Phir le aaya dil, it still sounds magical! I am not sure if I loved the song instantly (kiddo wanted the Barfi songs on loop) or loved it after I saw the video. I sometimes think it is, indeed, the latter. The silent emotions that are expressed in the eyes of the leads are just so beautiful! Well-directed and emoted!  

          Check it out here:

Reassurance

"I want my mummy, I miss my mummy!"

That wasn't Sid. That was me! On a cold rainy night, just while sleeping, I declared that. Suddenly!

You know what my 4 and a half year old did at that point??
He called my mom. On an imaginary phone. "Hello Ajji..Ajji.. Ya come soon ok. Bye". Next minute he was consoling me "Mamma, she will come ok. Don't worry." Then he gave me the tightest hug ever, smiled a dazzling smile and went back to sleep!
Speechless and so so PROUD!

Life in words and pictures

Sid, who was playing with toy cars (He has developed a sudden interest in them!), dashed two of them. Since no one was watching, he excitedly said 'Mamma, see the cars dashed, shall I show you a replay?'
'Replay thorsla?' has become a favorite now. Even if he skids on a mat, he wants to show a replay.

He is also drawing away to glory too, from multi-color dog like unicorns to aliens to abstracts! Here he is, drawing on the street, in the recently held 'Open Street' in HSR Layout.

This one's him trying to be 'Mister Maker', with his own set, complete with props, colors and books!!

No two meanings about it!

We use so many words in different contexts to produce totally different meanings, that it is quite a shock when someone (read the kiddo) understands it at face value. Gives a good perspective on things and sometimes, it is funny too. Have noted down some recent conversations, that I remember, below. Damn, I should note them down immediately, else will lose them in the sands of time! ;-)

Sid negotiating something with me.
Me: Nice try!!
Sid: No Mama, bad try.

Me to Josh: You get the point don't you?
Sid (interrupting): I get more points, not you!

The age old conflict!

Saturday was Sid's Sports Day. He was in some 2 races and 1 dance. Overall, it was a very nice event, although it started an hr late! We enjoyed looking at the kids in colorful costumes, running around, dancing, shouting, crying and generally behaving like, well, kids!

But one thing that I observed and which I was vocally against was the sexist nature of some of the events and people!

There was a running race, in which 2 kids had to hold hands and run together. Partner race, it was called. Sid and 1 other guy were partners. They won, by a good margin, but the MC (a lady, mostly one of the teachers, and that scares me!) says this was expected, they are boys or something similar.
I was annoyed! In one other race, the girl who came second was equally good, but no one mentioned how close the race was.

One more incident was a race for girls alone, which was called 'going to the market'! There you go! And to top it, the aforementioned MC, states that, 'girls, now you can help your mommies shop for groceries'!

I was affected by these statements, and I did talk about how this was wrong with Josh and the other parents around. The other parents did not seem to care much though.
I wanted to walk to her and tell her that she just cannot talk like this, typecasting boys, girls, attributing certain characters to each of them. They are growing kids, easily influenced. What will they end up teaching the kids!? I didn't tell her this, but did voice my disappointment to Josh.
Hopefully, the entire school isn't like that, if so, then I have issues with letting my kid continue in such an environment.

Maybe it was harmless and I am over-reacting, but it just didn't feel right. I know my son will be exposed to all kinds of philosophies, all kinds of people, and I cannot control it, but will definitely try to make him and my sphere of influence understand that there shouldn't be any chores, any activity which should be attributed to the sex of the person. Yes, I agree there are differences between a boy and a girl, but we should concentrate on the true potential and passion of the kid, rather than stick to stereotypes, like a boy should train to play cricket or run, a girl should learn to cook! Sometimes, and quite often, it does happen that a boy is not interested in running and a girl in not interested in cooking!
For god's (or whatever it is you believe in) sake, let them be!


A side note:
  I am reading an excellent book, the last of the trilogy - The Aryavarta Chronicles, which deserves a post of its own, but there is an exchange between Uttara and Abhimanyu in that, which talked about the so called equality between men and women.
 Abhimanyu tells Uttara, that seeing her, he thinks that women are no less than men (complimenting her), but Uttara tells him that the very fact that he is thinking about her being equal negates the statement. Truly equal means not even thinking about it! (I am summarizing it and not using the exact words)

Education and learning

Finally its time for Sid to start going to school. Formal education starteth!
As Josh put it 'Time for education to come in the way of his learning!'

He is going to learn, discover, play, fall, laugh, cry, make new friends, fight with them, be embarrassed (mostly by his parents, as all kids are at some point in their schooling!), take things seriously, not take things seriously, look up to people, be disappointed, be confused, make mistakes, regret them and then do it all over again. I only hope he has lots of fun going through this phase of his life and most importantly be happy for the most part of it!

Wheels of the bus

At his play-school, Sid has been taught to say 'wheels of the bus go round and round..all the way we go' and the version he knows is '..all through the town'.

So yesterday, he started singing this song and paused for a moment after 'round and round', and I offered 'all the way we go'.. He said 'No, that's in school. At home it is 'all through the town', and miss won't be there at home right, so it is 'all through the town' and not 'all the way we go'! :-|



In other things, in true Bollywood Istyle, presenting a sequel to the color identification post. Let's call this, well, 'Colors 2'!

Ajjayya

Saturday was Ajjayya's (my grandfather's) 19th death anniversary. He was 91 when he passed away. He had a heart-attack in the wee hours of one winter morning. He got up, went to the loo, drank water, sat beside his wife and withdrew from this world, just like that.

It was as if he knew he was going. Strange, because just the previous night during dinner, he was telling my father that in the next elections, he would vote for so-and-so party. :) Very politically inclined, and very oral about it too! I remember, on every festival or gathering, we would have quite a few uncles (his sons) and him arguing about the diff political parties and people, state of the country and such stuff.

He was a health-inspector in pre-independent India and would travel around Karnataka (maybe other South Indian places too, not clear on that) for the same. He finally settled in Bangalore after retirement. We (my sis and I) grew up with him and my dynamic grandmother (a joint family, if you want to call it that). He was a man of rules and had a strict time table everyday, and he followed it religiously too. Even when he was 90 years, apart from being a little short of hearing, he didn't have or complain of any ailment. He was solving Deccan Herald's crossword puzzle and word jumble every single day even then! And that he did without the aid of spectacles! He did not need them for watching anything or for reading!

Other than the above, there are lot of observations, talks, interactions that all of us in the family remember. But I have 2 cherished memories (one of which i quite don't remember that clearly, but have grown listening to it). He used to play building blocks with me when I was maybe 2-3 years old. Whenever we played, apparently he used to only make Tulsi katte out of the blocks, and I used to protest "tulsi katte beDa!'

The other memory is very dear to me. Education was always given a very high importance in my father's family and my grandparents were very particular that all the kids, grandkids study properly! So it used to be that after every test/exam that i would attend, my grandfather used to quiz me on the paper. He used to have this reclining chair and i used to come from school after the test or exam, give him the question paper, and stand behind him. He then would start asking all the questions again, and I would rattle away the answers. Except Hindi, which he din't know, he used to cover all my subjects. :)

I still don't know if he knew all the answers (he must be knowing, as he wouldn't quiz my sister who was in a higher grade, and he couldn't comprehend the syllabus), but it generally made me alert and more studious. Even if i had not answered a question right, after the test, I would make sure I found the correct answers, so that I could tell it to Ajjayya! He then would declare that I did well (or not) in the test to my father!

Fond memories of growing up and now back to the present. Who knows, I might just create some (good) memories for people to remember me by too!

my simba!